A Lesson from broken heart : I’m a Magician
Broken heart always been associated with romantic connection, but it can be caused by many things, when we face the adversity, feel the disappointment, those are hurtful and can rapes our heart out. It is easier to connect the feeling of broken heart onto relationship situation. I don’t remember how many times i found my heart feeling heavy, crying out over someone, had the sleepless night , and even the worst thing is questioning my self-worth. I blamed myself harshly, and cursed the life to be so unfair to me. I let myself sinking into the darkness and loneliness by entertaining myself in the wrong way.
“The more i’m seeking the answer for myself from the outside world, the more i get lost” — not so wisdom quote from not so wise self
The reason why we are stuck in the same situation and same problem, because we are keep running around it, and doing the same thing over and over again. As a quote from the most famous scientist ever lived Albert Einstein, Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I wished how i feel about myself would be better, how i handle the situation would be wiser, but yet i didn’t make any changes, i keep entertaining the wrong things, keep consuming the bul$hit and letting myself being intoxicated by unnecessary stuff. No one and no other things will magically change my life into my wish. During those time i believe i was doing fine, that i’m a good person, I thought i did not need any changes. I was keep being myself who was easily get hurt and sabotage herself.
“When you are keep avoiding to face your own battle and improving your weapon to be eligible for the next level, life will keep challenging you with the same problems, introduce you with the same type of loser, and throwing you in the similar unpleasant situation” — my realization
I believe we don’t need to change ourselves for someone else, but i do believe that we can or must change for ourselves. We will never really find and knowing who we really are. In certain period of time, our mindset aren’t fit anymore with our situation. When i was consistently let myself being hurt, i also acted so naive. I give the power to people who i thought had a good intention toward me, and when theirs intentions wasn’t as i expected, i blamed them. And after one to the other one, and still the same disappointment occur, yet i still blame them. I used to think the next guy will be different, or i can change them, they just little bit lost, i can help him, and then the result came the same; feeling heart broken and left empty. The reason why i keep attract the same situation and feeling the same disappointment, because i never tried to check myself, i keep doing the same thing, i let the outside world and circumstance control me. I was too lazy to learn more about myself, because i was busy ‘fixing’ people.
“If you do not take any action to leave your comfort zone, the universe will shaking your life and force you to finally take the first step” — another self realization
No matter how far you run away from your problem unavoidably it will meet you in the hall way. i had my first epiphany after the worst unpleasant situation with someone, that was the worst thing that ever happened to me, it crossed my value and it also forced me to finally face my problem, and get the reality right. For how many problem and broken heart i had to experience by trying to fix people, and blame them because the result wasn’t coming as i wished. when actually the source of the problem was me for being naive and afraid to accept the reality that people in real life are not going to be the same as the idea we have about them, and the fact that i can’t and would never be able to fix other people, But the bright side of the epiphany gave me the opened door and realization that all the answer and the solution are within me. It was me, It is me, and it will always be me. The powers lay within me.
“Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person.” — Albert Einstein
The broken heart and disappointment taught me that my life is my responsibility, all i need is the full access to myself, the feeling i feel is under my control, i can be the problem and the solution. If i don’t like the situation, i have the free will to change it. I’m an open book, I’m unlimited resource for myself, I’m unfinished chapter, i will always keep improving, keep changing. Once i take my own responsibility and being responsible towards anything that happened in my life, i feel more free, i’m not being resistant towards people’s action, i’m not waiting for apology or hoping people will doing my command. And the most important i don’t blame myself when situation aren’t coming as my expectation, because guess what?! i can change it.
